Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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