She's JV to your varsity
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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