U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
