How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
