Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
