Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have aggressive nipples.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize