I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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