I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
