New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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