you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
