She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
