You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
