someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
