i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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