So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
