It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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