yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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