i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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