Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize