ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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