Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
