"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think people are normalizing furries
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
