I smell stomach acid.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize