i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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