She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
