These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
