well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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