Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
