So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think people are normalizing furries
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
