problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My pussy is not your playground.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
