I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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