I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
