How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
