Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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