there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
