Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
