all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
