So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
