they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
