i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
