The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
