I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
