In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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