It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Let's get the cat blown out
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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