We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
