And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
