I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
