her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
