you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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