to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
