I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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