If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
