so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
