I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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