I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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