Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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