what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
