Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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