K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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