This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
