We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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