Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
