This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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