She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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