I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
